The ocean calls to me. In the most absurd way, because I’m terrified of it. Did you know that more than 70% of the ocean is yet to be discovered by humans? We have no idea of what‘s down here. Hell, we know more about space than we do about our own oceans. There’s movies, photoshopped pictures, horror stories of people being attacked by sharks or drowning. There’s so much to fear.
And yet I can’t contain the urge to be in the water. I can’t go in deep yet. My heart rate speeds up so much and I begin to panic. “In surfing, fear is healthy. Panic is lethal.” I know. I understand. But I don’t want to feel panicked. I want to feel the rush, the life, the current, the waves. I want to taste the salt on my lips and smell the ocean in my hair. I want to feel gritty sand between my toes and sea shells in the palms of my hands.
I’m terrified, but I’m working towards being mesmerized. Small steps. Baby steps. Visiting aquariums, watching documentaries, talking to people with experience. Learning to surf, to ride the current.
It will all be worth it. I will overcome my biggest fear this year. And it will be hella awesome, dude.
Me and Malak rented a board for two hours. We are both obsessed with surfing (though neither of us have ever been), and both terrified of the ocean (or any deep water to be honest). Surf boards are different from I thought what they would be like. They aren´t as heavy as they look, they are surprisingly light actually, but they´re really huge and a little awkward to carry around. Especially when it´s windy. Which is was. Just not windy enough for us to actually surf on any waves. We didn´t mind though, and just started simple: getting on the board. And staying on. We would have tried standing up, but yo that sh is hard and so much less elegant than it looks in pictures or videos. We´ll get a hang of it soon, but for this time, sitting without falling off or suffering from a panic attack from being in the water was enough of a conquest for me.
In the summer we will go to surf camp, one or two weeks. There we will learn to love the water, learn to stand, and hopefully not drown or get eaten by sharks. Until then, I will try to overcome my fear of water and everything that lies in it by watching movies, documentaries, maybe even going to an aquarium to see our ocean friends up close. I need to find someone who is willing to hold my hand through it all though, because when I say I´m scared I actually mean it. I´ll keep you updated, wish me luck!
Some pictures of our little surf-show:
Apparently I am a kid who sticks out it´s tounge in deep concentration haha
Look at that face. I was having the time of my life.
Look at me. A pro surfer. Struggling to balance on still water.I guess I should be embarrassed but honestly I´m just being real with you guys. And yes, the next picture is of me falling, going under water, and flipping the entire board.
I hope you had a great start into the new year, do you have any New Years resolutions you´ve already begun working on? Let me know in the comments!!